TELEVISION licence dodgers have caused a few laughs among enquiry officers in the South-West – but they still ending up paying.

A list of dodgy excuses for not having a licence over the past year have included: *“I don’t need one because I’m Jesus Christ.”

  • “The licence is for only 'live events'. That's why I didn't watch the Olympics and World Cup.”
  • “I was told I didn’t need a TV licence because I don’t have a remote control.”
  • “I have a medical problem and can't open any post.”
  • “I have a very large cat which takes the post to its litter tray and wees on it.”

Another viewer appeared far too busy to speak to the officer and asked: “Is this going to take long? I’m missing Hollyoaks.”

Richard Chapman, TV Licensing spokesperson for the South-West, said: “We are effective at catching evaders but it’s not surprising a few of those caught will try and avoid taking responsibility.

“Fewer than 2% of households only watch catch-up TV, so the vast majority of homes still need a licence.

“Some of the humour and originality in this year’s excuses provided a laugh for our enquiry officers and customer service centre staff, but behind every excuse is someone who has been caught watching or recording live TV without a licence.”

And anyone caught avoiding the £145.50 annual fee faces prosecution and a fine of up to £1,000.

Consultant psychologist Kerry Daynes said: “It’s interesting that the more outlandish excuses have been judged by the evader as more socially acceptable and therefore less embarrassing than the truth, while others may offer an extraordinary reason as a covert way of showing contempt.”